With the internet so readily available and American culture
shifting towards everything being on the World Wide Web it has created a new
mental disorder- internet addiction. Internet addiction really is a generic
term because there are multiple types of addictions that fall under this. Many
are hooked on internet pornography and cybersex while others are dependent on internet
relationships, and some are addicted to both. Others maybe addicted to internet
compulsions like online gambling or auction sites like eBay and some maybe
hooked on online gaming. Whichever version the addict has, it still has the
same effects; long hours in front of the computer, always on a smartphone, hours
each day spent feeding their needs and desires.
This over use of the internet in most cases helps ease an
underlying issue such as depression, stress, loneliness and boredom. This all
makes perfect sense, one feels lonely and can log into a chat room and suddenly
they are surrounded by a number of new “friends”. A college student has been
stressed out by course work and decides to play World of Warcraft to unwind for
a bit. Then suddenly they need to do this more and more to make those feelings
go away. In the meantime their new addiction is taking time away from family,
friends, work and school.
Pornography & Sex
Let’s take a minute and dive into the four main types of
internet addiction. Pornography before
the internet era was left to magazines and videos that one would have to
obtain. It meant going to a store or ordering via mail. Now with the internet
you can access pornography in an instant and often times for no financial cost.
Websites like youporn.com bring you videos to your smartphone or computer of
whatever sexual content you desire. A quick Google search can bring you
hundreds of pictures of people that have taken naked pictures of themselves on
their cellphones for sexting. Other
websites like Literotica.com offer written erotic stories of all genres and
fetishes.
George Geysen, a counselor for sex and internet addiction,
described the ease in which one can get hooked on internet pornography. He explained that this addiction can happen
as innocently as a man wanting to check sports scores online and then sees a
beer advertisement with a pretty girl. Then before you know it that same guy is
scanning websites for other pictures of girls then turns to a porn website.
This would be where it would end for a non-addict, but for an addict this is
just the start. The time looking at pornography increases. The connection
between masturbation and the online pornography begins to take place and this
only increases as the addiction takes hold. Some addicts begin an extensive
collection of pictures and videos that they save on their computer.
For the spouse of this type of addict it can be extremely
difficult mentally and emotionally. Suddenly your significant other is
attracted and desires pornography over you. They may even feel like they have
to add pornography to all of their intimate moments. Those intimate moments
become further and further apart because the addict is more focused on
self-pleasure and their addiction. The
addict more than likely will feel bad about themselves for having this
addiction and those emotions will fuel the addiction to continue. The addict
feels bad about it and turns to pornography to escape those feelings.
There is still another component to this type of addiction.
Some might say a more extreme addict that needs to use the internet to fulfill
real life fantasies or desires. The concept of an affair is nothing new, but
the internet has made adultery even easier. Websites like POF.com or
AshleyMadison.com were developed for their users to log on and find a local
person to hook up with and have sexual relations. Social networking sites like
Facebook also offer its users that ability to find people to be friends with that
can lead into a sexual relationship. For this type of addict a lot of time goes
into finding people to have an online relationship with at first. Often times
they are doing this with multiple people. Over time they want to escalate
things and push to meet in person to have sex. The addict usually is on their
cell phone much of the time and is very secretive and overly protective of their
phone. They get wrapped up in this secret world and have no problem lying over
and over again. For the spouse of this type of addict it is heartbreaking.
Usually all of the warning signs are there and it takes spying on the addict or
gaining access to their cell phone to prove that their beliefs were real.
Compulsion
The next type of internet addiction is called a compulsion
addiction, in which the user needs to check in online on a consistent basis at
all times of the day and night. There are three versions of this that are
becoming more and more prevalent in the world of internet addictions. Online
auction sites like eBay and Quibids offer its users the opportunity to
participate in an auction environment through their computer or cellphone. Millions
of people use auction sites to buy items and some of those people are hooked on
the excitement of winning. These users spend a tremendous amount of time and
money on these sites buying items just for the sake of getting the thrill of
obtaining the winning bid.
Another compulsion addiction that is somewhat similar to the
auction thrill is online gambling. Bovada is the leading website in online
gambling. It offers its users the options to bet on sports, play casino games
and poker, as well as betting on horse races. Laws in the United States have
made it tougher to find online gambling sites, but there are still plenty of
them out there. Gambling used to be a lot like the pornography business where a
person would have to go out to a casino or gamble through a bookie. Now in the
internet era there is instant access to all types of gambling right at a
person’s fingertips. Someone hooked on this type of gambling will spend a great
deal of money often times way beyond their economic means. They will be logged
in for a tremendous amount of time and absorbed with the thrill of winning
their next bet. The addict believes that their next bet will win; in turn that
bet will get them out of their financial debt that their gambling has caused.
With both of these compulsion addictions it is extremely
difficult for the people in their lives. The economic ramifications of their
addiction can be devastating. A spouse
may feel anger, resentment and hurt. Like other internet addictions the addict
will often hide their actions and lie about them. They may feel guilt for what
they have done and the situation they have created which in turn makes them go
online more to forget their feelings.
The third type of compulsion addiction is probably the
fastest growing and the widest spread of all of the internet addictions. Social
networking sites like Facebook and Twitter have become a staple of life in this
modern era. These sites allow users to connect with others and share their
thoughts, feelings, pictures and day to day activities. A person can logon and
within minutes be caught up on what their friends have shared. It seems that
everywhere you turn someone or something is asking you to join, like or friend
them. To a casual user these are great sites to stay connected with friends and
family. To an addict these sites are consuming creating the need to stay logged
on for long periods of time or checking in hundreds of times a day. There are
usually many underlying issues with this type of addict like self-esteem
problems, a need to feel important or accepted, boredom, depression and
loneliness. When logged onto a social networking site their reality becomes the
one that they create for themselves. Suddenly the most insignificant event in
their life or thought that they have has to be shared and they need to comment
on all of their friend’s posts or tweets. For a spouse or family member of this
type of addict it can be frustrating and hurtful. The user is more interested in their social
networking then they are with the real life and people around them.
Gaming
The final type of internet addiction is online gaming. Games
like League of Legends and World of Warcraft have millions of players from
around the world. A recent statistic showed that League of Legends has at least
a half million players engaged in a game at all times. Suffice it to say online
video games are a big deal. To the casual gamer these games bring great
entertainment and a way to relax and escape reality for a while. To the addict
these games become their life. The top scoring player of a very popular game
app on ITunes called Clash of Clans said he dedicates three 38 hour blocks of
time each week to play the game. Not only is time spent playing an issue but
those addicted to these games spend a lot of money on in game purchases with
some spending as much as five to seven thousand dollars annually. Very often
this addiction leads to issues with work or school attendance and productivity,
as well as issues with real life relationships due to the quantity of time
spent playing games.
Since the mid 1990’s the mental health community has begun
really looking into the whole concept of internet addiction. Presently there
are many psychologists that specialize in this field and there are a growing
number of support groups for the addict as well as for their spouse. Like any
addiction, it is very difficult to quit without the help of a mental health
professional. There is an excellent website that can offer more information as
well as ways to get help at www.netaddiction.com
and www.netaddictionrecovery.com.
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